Sunday, December 6, 2009

The ride that is infertility

I had suspected since college that getting pregnant would be difficult. Endometriosis runs in my family and was suspected since I was in high school. My junior year of college I went to the emergency room with what turned out to be a ruptured cyst on my ovary. In trying to find out what it was, an HGC (which was the most painful experience of my life) was performed which told that I had a misshaped uterus- a bicornuate uterus. So I was put on a birth control that had a low dose of estrogen and stopped my periods, all to slow down the endometriosis. I was on bc for 8 years.

In January 2008 I finally got a 2nd opinion from my family dr (who is also an ob/gyn). Who completely disagreed with the route my ob/gyn was taking for my endo (which was to keep me on bc until we were ready to "try" and then if I didn't get pregnant after a year of trying, we'd try something different). I liked his idea better- it was proactive. So he took me off bc to see if I still had "normal" periods, to see if I ovulated, and to see if we could get pregnant on our own. Everything looked normal, but never got pregnant after 3 mths. Dr. Blanke then sent me to Dr. Gentry, a fertility specialist, in May.

Gentry recommended a laporoscopy to see the stage of endometriosis and perform corrective surgery on my uterus. In June I had surgery where he removed the septum from my uterus and discovered I have moderate endometriosis. The septum was removed b/c if an embryo tried to implant on it, it woudn't be able to survive, and the septum would limit the space the baby would have to grow. The surgery went great.

Gentry recommended trying for 3 mths, from July - September, but we didn't get pregnant. So in October I started my first round of fertility treatment. I was put on Femara, which stimulates the ovaries to make follicles, and took a shot to make me ovulate. I made follicles very well, but still didn't get pregnant after 3 mths of femara. In January we added a shot- Follistim, which made more follicles. On the first round they started me on the normal, low dosage, and I produced 5 large follicles (this was a lot for the amount of meds I took). I was told I had a very good chance of having triplets, and almost guaranteed twins, if I took the ovulation shot (or "triggered"). I left the dr office thinking I wouldn't trigger, but after thinking and discussing it w/many friends, I decided I couldn't let another month be wasted by not trying, and I just knew in my heart I wouldn't get more than one, if I got one (based on previous month's outcomes). So I triggered. We were staying at my mom's house during this time due to an ice storm. I kept thinking how fun it'd be to tell the story of how we took such a big chance, and got pregnant during an ice storm. I had 2 weeks of torture, waiting for the results. I was devastated when I started my period. I cried all the time, at work, at home. I didn't see anyone for 3 days. It was odd, b/c I only triggered b/c I didn't think I'd get pregnant and yet it was the hardest negative result I had to deal with. I had put so much time, energy, thought, emotion, and discussion into making the decision to go through with the trigger, against my dr's recommendation.

After a round of fem-foll (femara and follistim) patients have to sit out a month; so February I had to sit out. In the meantime Gentry suggested Jamie and I have a blood test done to see if the antibodies in our blood rejected each other, which would prevent pregnancy. The blood test came back positive for the antibodies. So this meant that my body treated his blood as a foreign object and my blood vessels would clot to prevent his blood from growing in my body, or to prevent a baby from forming. The way to treat this is by a shot (another shot!! ahh!), except this one I have to have every day, throughout the entire pregnancy. Did I mention it leaves dime-sized bruises at every injection site. Lovely!! The shot is a blood thinner, which keeps my blood from clotting, keeping the baby alive. So after finding out we had a cure for this, I thought "oh well now that we know that, the next round will surely work b/c that is a major problem we just fixed." So hopeful, I tried fem-foll again in March but this time tried IUI (artificial insemination) with it, which means the sperm is injected into the uterus during ovulation. All of these were very fun treatments, I might add- sense the sarcasm? Once again it failed. It was difficult again, but I was becoming comfortable with the negative outcome. After that I had to sit out another month, and in May I tried it all over again, but still negative.

So in June Gentry suggested trying IVF. He felt I was the perfect candidate- I made great follicles easily, and Jamie's sperm were excellent swimmers, but something in the fertilization or implanting stage wasn't working on it's own, he wasn't sure which it was. He also offered to let me be a part of a study he was conducting at IU- "why women who look good on paper, can't get pregnant". This meant IVF would only cost $3000 instead of $10,000. It was an amazing offer and blessing! So we took it. I started IVF on June 24, 2009. I was put on 5 pills, 4 shots, and one patch. On retrieval day, July 6th, I had produced 6 good follicles which they inseminated. Of those, 2 were at the zygote (good) stage and one was struggling to survive, on transfer day. On July 11th, transfer day, while I laid on the table, in a gown, legs up, ready for transfer, Jamie and I had to decide how many to put in. We had already decided we wouldn't freeze any and we wouldn't throw any away. So while it didn't seem like we had much of a choice, I was still hesitating to put all 3 in. Gentry had always told us when he knew our hesitations of freezing/disposing of fertilized eggs, that God seemed to have a way of working it out; so we put all 3 in. The next 2 weeks, again, were long to say the least. I knew this was it though, so it was easier than the other rounds.

It was while I was in Indy with Mom and Jeff on July 18th, staying at Aunt Jamie's house for Carly's wedding shower (Jamie stayed home to work) that I got my first positive home pregnancy test. I took it first thing when I got up. I just peed on it w/o reading the directions b/c I didn't expect it to be positive: one, b/c I was testing very early. I wasn't supposed to test til July 25th. Two: b/c it was never positive! So when I got 2 lines, something I'd never seen before, I scrambled for the box to read the directions. Sure enough it said 2 lines meant positive. I still didn't believe so I took the test to Mom, while she was at the table eating breakfast (sanitary!) and said "look at this, read these directions, tell me what you think it says". We decided it was positive. So I called Jamie and told him all the while trying to stay calm b/c I didn't want to get excited until I knew for sure, from a blood test and a Dr's confirmation. I took the test for the next 2 days until I could get in for a blood test to confirm, and every time the lines got darker and darker. I just knew it had to be accurate, but feared it meant 2 or 3 since it came up positive so soon! Now I just had to wait to see how many!

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