Friday, February 22, 2013

The end of the beloved paci

Since about 18 months old, we've only allowed Beck to use his paci for naps and bedtime. Once he turned two we reminded him often that when he turned three he would have to get rid of his paci. We figured the more we talked about it the easier it would be, but with his birthday one month away he is yet to liken to the idea.
Day 1: On Saturday, February 16 I was putting Beck to bed and he wasn't obeying. He threw his paci on the floor bc he didn't want to go to bed. I told him to pick it up, but he wouldn't so I told him he couldn't have it. He was upset about it and cried. I laid down with him and after an hour of singing to him, he finally fell asleep. He didn't know what to do without his paci. He was fidgeting, and kept putting his fingers to his mouth. It was a late night and he didn't get in bed til 8:45 so it was 9:45 when he fell asleep. I felt like since we were only weeks away from him turning three and we'd just accomplished one night of no paci that we should stick with it. Although he wasn't given warning it was coming that night, he'd been warned for a year. So we stuck with it.
Day 2: The next day for nap he asked for his paci. He was upset he couldn't have it. I explained to him that when you turn three you have to give your pacis to the new babies who need them. He said he didn't want to give them to the babies. So I told him he could get a new toy at the end of the week if he gave up his pacis. He was really excited about that. He's been wanting the flying Lightning McQueen so he was very excited! He played and talked in his bed the entire nap (about 1.5 hours). He didn't sleep.
That night before bed we called Mason and told him Beck was giving up his pacis and getting a flying queen. Mason was very excited for Beck. But 5 min after the phone call Beck was asking for his pacis. I laid down with him and sang for 20 min then he was out.
Day 3: this day was really rough. All day (except for the hour we were at the bounce house playing) Beck threw fits, disobeyed, and whined. He was not himself. Nap time was horrible. He threw a tantrum when I tried to put him down for nap. He kept getting out of bed. I left him in the room, went to my room and turned off the sound on the monitor. After about 45 min I noticed he wasn't crying anymore. I peeked in his room and he was laying on the floor, a foot away from the door, asleep. He had never gotten out of his bed during bed time before. When he woke up the screaming started again. I tried showing him his new toy on the iPad to remind him but he said he didn't want it.
That night for bed I was at girls night (hallelujah!) but of course he was worn out and went to sleep easily for Jamie.
Day 4: In the morning Beck climbed up in the closet and got his pacis down and brought them to me, as in a way that said "look what I've got, can I have them?" I put them on top of the fridge. That upset him. He wanted to put them away in the closet so I got them down and next thing I knew he was throwing them in the trash. No turning back now!
We started waiting for the mail lady to arrive every day, hoping she had flying queen. (I ordered it on Amazon on Monday) it helped to give him something to look forward to. We'd look at it on the iPad many times a day.
Today was a great day. Beck behaved great and went down for nap easy.
Brooklyn watched him for bed time while we were at practice. She said he didn't ask for paci and went to bed easily as usual.
Day 5: we went to BSF in the morning. When I picked Beck up from class he wouldn't come out of the classroom. His teacher brought him out and he started throwing a fit. His teacher tried talking to him and he pushed her away (he LOVES his teacher, he kisses and hugs her every week, he arrives and leaves class easily each week, and his teachers compliment his behavior often). So this was not usual behavior. I took him into the bathroom and spanked him. He was screaming bloody murder at me. He wouldn't leave the bathroom. I did not know what to do with him. I'd never seen him act this way before and to deal with it in public made me very unsure.
For nap he threw a major fit. I went in to discipline him several times. Finally he fell asleep after an hour.
He went to bed pretty easy that night.
Day 6: still waiting for flying queen :( nap time was okay. He cried a bit and I had to discipline him then he finally fell asleep.
Jamie put him to bed at night and he went to bed easily. He seems to do better for others.
Day 7: no flying queen yet! Mom noticed Beck's behavior was different today. I reminded her about the pacis. She was surprised at the change.
He went down for nap easy.
He went down for bed easy.

Since I took the pacis away I've thought about my reason for taking them away a lot more. I don't really know what to think. Part of me thinks it's not fair to take them away bc Liv sucks her thumb and I'm not gonna take that away. So if he'd have chosen his thumb we wouldn't be going through this. I was mainly taking them away for fear of messing up his teeth. His dentist suggested taking them away soon at his 2 year check up but didn't seem worried that pacis would affect his teeth. The more I researched it seemed like pacis don't do damage and especially not to baby teeth. It wasn't until I saw how hard it was for my child to give up his paci that I started rethinking my motives. I'd seen Mason give his up willingly and easily and figured it would come for Beck with time, but he was not ready to give them up when I took them away and he was older than Mason was when he gave his up. If I wasn't worried about what I'd be teaching him if I went back on my word, I'd give them back to him. Poor guy.

So we hope flying queen arrives soon and pray our sweet boy learns to cope without his pacis quickly.