Leading up to the birth, I had decided to go "natural" which does NOT mean vaginal birth- it means that, but it primarily means no meds. Natural. I prepared myself physically and mentally for 9 months. I took prenatal yoga classes to stretch and strengthen labor muscles and learn breathing techniques, discussed weekly with my doula and "natural" friends everything I could think of about going natural, and read the Bradley Method book with Jamie. I never let myself think "well if it gets too hard, I'll just get an epideral" because I knew if I did, I'd be tempted in my moment of weakness. I specifically remember my yoga instructor asking me about my labor intentions one day "now you're going to try to go natural right?" I said "no, I am going natural!"
On March 23rd at 3pm I went in for my weekly dr appointment with Dr. Blanke. I was 39 weeks. My due date was March 29th. It was the Tuesday of Spring Break and when school let out on Friday for Spring Break I knew I wasn't coming back- I'd have Beck. While the nurse was checking me in, she asked if I'd been having any contractions. I told her I didn't think so. She misunderstood I guess b/c Blanke ended up checking me, which he only did if a woman reported contractions. Well it was a good thing for the confusion b/c I was 3 cm! I'd never had a contraction! I couldn't believe it! But the news that would follow was very hard to hear and changed my excitement. Since I was 3 cm Blanke discussed with me what we'd do if I went into labor. With it being Spring Break I had previously asked him if he'd be out of town and he happened to be staying in town for SB this year. That was a relief... or so I thought! He had an unexpected (and totally legit) emergency that had come up that week. So he was going to be out of town for the weekend, which was exactly when I could imagine I was going to go into labor if I was at 3 cm on a Tuesday. At first I stayed calm on the outside while he let it sink in and calmly tried to talk me through the "what if's". I wasn't hearing anything he was saying, I just kept thinking "what am I gonna do?" Finally I lost it. I had put EVERYTHING into him being my dr for delivery. I immediately lost all my self-confidence in going natural when he told me he may not be there and discussed other doctors who could take his place. He knew all my wishes and desires of labor! How could someone else possibly fill his role w/o knowing anything about me! He could tell it was very hard for me to hear that he may not make it, so we started discussing how to speed up the process to try to have the baby before he left for the weekend. He recommended walking and sex. Get this! Semen is a natural inducer if left in the cervix. The hormones it contains bring on labor. Fantastic! Isn't it amazing all the details God thinks of!!! The last thing Blanke said to me was "please just trust me Cassie." He quoted some scripture and assured me God would take care of the timing.
That day I went to the mall and walked, then I went home and walked. Then at midnight we had sex. Immediately after I went to bed. I don't remember if I ever even fell asleep, but at 12:20 I was certain I was having my first contraction. I tried to wake Jamie up but he wasn't responding much. Then 3 minutes later, another. I finally got up and went to the bathroom b/c it was a very strange feeling and I couldn't figure out what was happening. I still wasn't sure if the feeling was a contraction. Then Jamie finally got the point that they weren't going away and I was seriously in some pain. I started freaking out. They hurt way worse than I was mentally prepared for. Everything I'd trained for in yoga and Bradley for 9 months went out the door. It hurt!! So we started timing them and they were lasting about 30 sec and 3-4 mins apart consistently. I waited until 1:30 to call Amanda, my doula. We had previously discussed that I would labor at home for several hours until the contractions were obviously close. Well, they were obviously close and it was only the first hour. With it being my first baby and not knowing how fast my body moved, she decided we should head to the hospital. So I took a shower (very glad I did that, although uncomfortable!) then we headed to the hospital at 2:30 am.
I remember when I got there and the girl was checking me in, she asked "so what are you here for?" as I was barely able to focus and was wrenching my face in pain, oh and the big belly in front of me!!! I said "uh, I'm having a baby!" Apparently that wasn't obvious! I apologized when I realized she was serious and not joking.
They checked us into triage where you have to get checked. If I was at a point where they felt it was time to call my dr they would, if not I had to labor there until I progressed enough to call him, or if I didn't I'd go home. When she checked me she said I was at 4 cm! That was great news, but not enough to call Blanke or get a room. So I chose to walk and see if I could progress on my own. We walked for 2 hrs. When she checked me at 5am... nothing. NO progress! Still 4 cm and still consistent and strong, but no progress. I was sooo disappointed. So we kept walking! Checked again at 6:30... finally! 5 cm! So they checked me into a room and called Blanke. Blanke sent me a message via the nurse. He said "thanks for trusting me Cassie." Those words brought tears to my eyes and reminded me God was in control. It was 12 hours ago that I was thinking "this is all going to fall apart" and now it was working out perfectly!
After I got in my room I didn't want to be checked until Blanke got there. Basically getting checked hurts and it can mess with you mentally if you haven't progressed much. We were told he'd be there after his morning patients, assuming around 9. I was basically doing whatever my doula told me to do. Once we got a room they hooked me up to all the monitors to see if the baby and I were ok- we were. So Amanda said "we're walking." I was hoping the walking was done. Not a chance. By this point I hadn't slept since Monday night. It was now Wednesday morning. I kept on walking and contractions remained the same.
At 11:30am I'd been walking since 2:30am- yep, 9 hours. I was a bit tired, but the adrenaline kept me going. I knew the more I walked, the faster he'd come. Every time we'd pass the nurses they'd look at us like "you're still walking!?" Very unheard of. (We asked the nurse how many natural births they see a month- 1-2!! And 15 babies were born on the day I gave birth!! She said almost all women come in saying "I'm going to try to go natural" but they don't make it) The nurse would make me get in bed and hook up to the monitors every once in a while. When she checked this time there was a drop in the baby's heart rate. We believe it to be a fluke, maybe the monitor moved or something, but the nurse insisted I get hooked up to the IV for fluids. Which we thought was annoying b/c while fluids aren't a bad idea, why couldn't I just drink. Oh well, it wasn't worth the fight. The good part was I got to lay in bed for an hour and sleep. The bad part was my contractions went away almost completely. Proof of how much walking helps!
At 12:30 Blanke finally arrived! I hadn't been checked since 6:50 am, and I'd been walking for 9 hours. We just knew I'd be at least 7 cm. He said I was 4.5-5 cm so I wasn't even as far along, according to him, as the nurse had told me earlier that morning! In 6 hours, no progress. So he discussed my options. He said he may have to break my water in a few hours if I don't progress. He recommended I sleep for another hour and continue the fluids during that time, then I could get up and walk again. He left and said he'd check back around 2pm.
At 12:45, 5 minutes after Blanke left, my water broke! Scared the crap out of me. I was laying in bed and all the sudden felt what felt like a water balloon popping inside my stomach. Then contractions got really intense. They were coming every 3 minutes and lasting 60 seconds. The nurse checked me and I was at a 6! They hoped they'd catch Blanke before he got out of the parking lot, but he was already on the road.
With one swift move, or break of the water, my labor became something very different. I had actually gotten very used to the contractions I'd been having all morning and b/c of that I feared if they got worse I'd freak out again like I did when they first came on. I was hoping for a gradual increase in pain that my mind and body could slowly get used to. No such luck. This was intense and I wasn't prepared (I thought). I had become a pro at breathing and focusing while walking. It got very hard to focus and breathe through these contractions. I definitely thought "I can't do this." Thankfully Amanda told me I was in transition. Because I had done my research, I knew transition phase was the hardest part and came just before pushing (the end!). So that gave me an idea of how much longer I needed to mentally prepare for, and I did. I readjusted my focus and pulled it together, not without a lot of moaning and cries for help though! This is the time a doula made all the difference. The difference beetween asking for an epideral and not. I needed to know someone else knew what I was going through and could coach me through it, and Amanda did.
Amanda stayed in my face (mostly b/c I demanded that she do so!) while Jamie and Mom massaged and encouraged from the sides. Once the hard contractions started at 12:45 I didn't open my eyes until it was all over, which was 2 hours later. I had "yoga" music playing in the background and the lights low. This was all very helpful. I had to be reminded on every contraction how to breathe and focus. It became very hard to keep those under control. I remember one time, out of what seemed like 100 contractions, I mastered it completely.
After about 10 of those, I remember the contractions started to feel very different. It was as if everything in my body was pushing down and I felt like I was fighting my body, so the nurse checked me. At 1:50 pm I was 9 cm and she called Blanke. I had gone from 6-9 cm in 30 mins!!!
At 2 pm I was 10 cm and really wanted to push. I'd had several contractions now that felt like I was holding everything back. The nurse didn't want me pushing for fear my body wasn't ready. We later realized that if Blanke had gotten there sooner, I could've pushed 20 mins before I actually did.
At 2:18 Blanke finally arrived! I got to start pushing. On the first push I gave it all I had, vocally too! That was a big no, no, and if I wasn't in labor I could have told you that. But during that time I forgot everything I had learned. So the next two contractions I held my breath and pushed. Pushing was SWEET relief, compared to contractions. I pushed for 3 contractions.
Beck was born at 2:35 pm on Wednesday, March 24th. He was 6 lbs 4 oz and 19.5 in long with a FULL head of hair! We waited until the cord stopped pulsating before Jamie cut it. The cord was too short to put him on my chest so Blanke had to hold him until it was cut. Immediately after it was cut he put Beck on my chest and he started breastfeeding. He latched on immediately and ate for 30 mins on each side! All my fears of him not breastfeeding well were relieved! Huge relief!!
I'll never forget how I felt that day. While the joy of meeting your first child is expected, I was very surprised by the overwhelming sense of joy that I felt from having my friend as my doula. I was lucky enough to have sat through 3 years of weekly pregnancy and delivery conversations with Amanda and my friends, leading up to my labor. I felt very loved and nurtured by the time it was my turn- since I was the last by a long shot! I coudln't imagine doing it any other way.
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